Much Needed Therapy
by Uchiha B
Summary: Most of the population of Konoha knew that the Uchiha heirs desperately needed therapy... for various reasons. It was too bad that Uchiha Fugaku was in denial about his children. IY/Naruto inter-connected one-shots.
1. Witness 1: Umino Iruka

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Pairing: Sasuke/Kagome/Itachi, some Kagome/Naruto

Warning: Will contain Uchihacest, just to warn those who don't like that stuff

A/N: With this story up (and if I continue it), 'Operation: PDA,' and 'Seduction Games' will probably be dropped

* * *

_Witness # 1: Umino Iruka_

That whole clan was crazy.

Now, Umino Iruka knew that the Uchiha clan practised incest – no matter how distant it may be – but they still did inbreed to keep the DNA of the Sharingan strong.

But still, the girl was so still so _small_ – and Itachi was six years older than she was. Their sibling love just seemed too... _close _for each other. And he knew he wasn't the only one who thought that way.

He would have never thought that Itachi might have a loli-complex, but it was the only explanation.

And as for her brother of the same age – now Iruka had never even heard of Kagome's birth before, so he guessed that she could've been adopted by the Uchiha clan at a young age. Or they just hid her birth from the rest of Konoha – Sasuke wasn't much better with dealing with his sister.

They had been caught 'playing doctor' more than a few times – Iruka knew that it was probably just a child's curiosity – but he told the boy over and over it was inappropriate. The kid didn't listen to him... at all.

Kagome was all innocent in this, that much he knew. She had no idea what her brothers' behaviour around her was very strange – and slightly disturbing to the rest of the population of Konoha.

* * *

"Itachi-nii-san?" Kagome asked, her unusual bright blue eyes looked curiously up at her older brother with innocence that only a child possessed. It was a refreshing sight – because most children in the Uchiha clan lost their innocence by the time they went to the academy.

Sasuke certainly had, at least after he had declared himself to be Itachi's rival, no matter how one-sided it may be. Sasuke was particularly angry that Kagome actually enjoyed spending time with their big brother. The child wanted the girl to himself – it just wasn't going to happen either.

"Yes?" He asked, looking down at the little girl who held his blood-stained hand. He always wondered why the girl had to be an Uchiha, she deserved so much more than a corrupted clan.

"What's a _kiss_?" Kagome asked with a bright smile, Itachi stopped to look down at her, raising his brow at the strange question.

"Why would you ask that?" He asked emotionlessly, wondering why she would want to know.

"I read it in a book – Shisui-nii-san's book. There were a lot of funny pictures in there." Kagome answered brightly, pulling out an orange book from her backpack. Itachi resisting the urge to roll his obsidian eyes – their cousin was a closet-perv.

"It's something you can do when you're older." Itachi simply said, not really giving a full explanation. Kagome looked put-out by the lame answer.

"Okay." She pouted, but then cheered up a second later. "Then, what does... _'Fucking' _mean?" She asked, also seeing that term in the funny orange book.

Iruka, from his hiding spot, blanched, watching the two siblings walk slowly towards the academy. There was plenty of time before Kagome's lesson started. Where Sasuke was, Iruka had no idea.

There was something very, very, _very _wrong with the Uchiha clan if they were allowing a little girl-child to read some smut. _'Damn that Jiraiya-sama for creating such a thing.' _The teacher thought, not noticing that Itachi flicked his obsidian eyes in his direction for a brief second, before landing back on his little sibling.

An annoyed expression briefly appeared on the ANBU-captain's pale face, but a slight smirk quickly replaced it. The smirk disappeared a second later; his usual apathetic face replaced the smirk.

"It's something you also do when you're older – someone who you'll marry too." Itachi said, though a frown appeared on his pale face, making the fatigue lines appeared longer. Kagome would eventually have to marry within the clan – probably Shisui, if his guess was correct. There was no way Fugaku would allow Kagome – the first female who had been born within the clan since Mikoto – to marry outside of the clan, even if it was her wish to.

"Oh," Kagome blinked her beautiful blue eyes, looking up at Itachi with happiness, surprising even Itachi with her next statement. "We can marry each other when I get older! Then you can show me what _'fucking' _is!" She giggled, blinking when a loud slam sounded from somewhere. "What was that?"

Iruka had just fallen from his spot in a dead faint.

"Hn," Itachi didn't answer, merely guiding Kagome towards the academy, ignoring the fainted Chuunin completely. A smirk slowly spread across his pale face. "Aa." He lightly agreed with Kagome's statement, even if she didn't know what the hell she was really talking about.

He would rather have her marry him than that closet-perv, Shisui.

* * *

Iruka's eyes could not but help to stray back to the Uchiha twins during the course of the class, Kagome was sitting there innocently colouring with crayons while Sasuke watched her.

Yamanaka Ino and Haruno Sakura were sitting near them, Sasuke glared at them with his obsidian eyes as they reached over for a few of Kagome's crayons.

They both 'eeped' when Sasuke snarled at them, scaring them off, and not allowing them to steal Kagome's crayons, they were hers; annoying fan-girls didn't need to touch them!

"Here, Sasuke-nii-chan!" Kagome passed her crayon over to her brother, who took with a bored expression. He didn't like their break-time anymore, what was the use of drawing and colouring to a shinobi? It was just a big waste of time, much like their teacher, Iruka-sensei.

Sasuke didn't like him; he liked to interrupt his time with Kagome a lot. The academy time was the time he had Kagome alone to himself.

"Ne, Sasuke-nii-chan?" Kagome asked, bringing the boy's attention to herself. Iruka couldn't help but listen in, trying to look as if he wasn't at all. Sasuke glared at him, but turned to Kagome a second later.

"What?" He asked, glaring at the little pink-haired girl and the blond-haired girl, who were now staring at him dreamily. They were really annoying...

"Do you know what '_Fucking' _means?" Kagome asked brightly, the entire class watched in surprise as their teacher suddenly keeled over.

Oh yes, the Uchiha clan desperately needed therapy...

* * *

Yeah, so what'd you think? Weird or what? XD


	2. Witness 2: Haruno Sakura

Disclaimer: I own nothing

A/N: Wow, loads of reviews for that weird chapter, I'm glad you all like it so much!

* * *

_Witness # 2 Haruno Sakura_

She didn't like Uchiha Kagome at all.

It wasn't the smartest of choices, but it was what she really felt. The little pink-haired girl glared over at the Uchiha with her emerald-green eyes, burning a hole in her head as the Uchiha ate her lunch with her twin brother, Sasuke.

Yes, one day she would be Uchiha Sakura, but she really needed to learn to like Uchiha Kagome. After all, she would become her sister-in-law.

But she really, really, _really _hated Uchiha Kagome right at this instant.

"Open up, Sasu-nii-chan!" Kagome said cheerfully, carefully guiding a sliced up tomato into her twin brother's open mouth, giggling as he grumbled under his breath.

"Don't call me that, it makes me sound like a baby." He frowned, shivering when he felt _that _particular glare – it was that of a jealous fan-girl. He slowly turned himself around, glaring right back at the annoying pink-haired girl. He honestly didn't remember her name, but she was the most troubling of his fan-girls.

The girl looked down with a bright red blush, obviously overly happy that Sasuke-kun even glanced her way. Her flush then immediately changed into a glare when Sasuke's attention was focused back onto Kagome.

Who did that girl think she was?! Well, yeah, she was his twin, but still—!!

"Why can't I?" Kagome asked curiously, tilting her head like a cute puppy. "I can call Nii-san 'Tachi,' and he doesn't care..." The Uchiha looked thoughtfully towards the ground; Sasuke was now glaring at nothing.

'_Stupid Itachi!' _Sasuke thought bitterly, hating him for merely gaining Kagome's attention. Kagome was his twin, meaning that he should have her all to himself – all the time!! Itachi should never have Kagome's attention because... because... well, he couldn't come up with a valid reason, but whatever!

Sakura angrily shovelled her food into her mouth, watching as Kagome patted her fuming Sasuke-kun's back!! _'I'll show her!' _Sakura angrily thought, smirking as she knew that shuriken practise was the next class after lunch.

Sasuke-kun would definitely show her attention after she shows him her skills!

* * *

"Watch where you're going, dobe!!" Sasuke snapped as Dead Last aka Uzumaki Naruto walked past them, but tripped a few feet away from the two twins. "Loser." He muttered, completely ignoring Naruto's fierce glare.

"You don't have to be so mean, Sasuke-nii-chan." Kagome said timidly, watching Naruto shyly with her unusual coloured eyes. "He didn't do anything wrong."

Naruto blinked his neon-blue eyes, unused to someone defending him.

"Tch," Sasuke snorted, shoving another tomato into his mouth. "He's weak!" The boy stated, as if that answered everything.

"But..." Kagome looked down at her cat-shaped onigiri, watching as Naruto gloomily walked to his usual spot, the lonely swing that was far away from the rest of the population of the academy. "He looks sad."

"Because he's weak!" Sasuke smirked, an Uchiha should never pay attention to any sort of weakness—"Hey, where are you going, Kagome?" He stood up as Kagome ran towards the swing, her bento in hand.

A little pink flush stained her pale cheeks as she slowly walked to the blond boy, her shyness taking over, stumbling over what to say. "A-ano... Naruto?"

Meanwhile, Sakura watched this in absolute horror, wondering why the hell the Uchiha girl was even approaching Naruto. He was a loser that even the adults avoided – her parents had said to never to associate herself with him – that he was a monster.

So why was Sasuke-kun also approaching him?!?

"What?" Naruto asked in a slightly frosty and cold tone, protecting himself as he usually would. Usually, when people approached him, it usually meant that they wanted to hurt him, or make fun of him. He was sick of it! What did he ever do to anyone?! Absolutely nothing...

"Err—" Kagome flinched at the tone, but then straightened up a moment later. She was an Uchiha, she shouldn't be afraid! At least, that's what her Tou-san told her – she was better than everyone else... not that she believed that particular point. "Well umm... do you want to share me bento with me? I see that... you don't have any lunch with you..." Kagome said quietly, not noticing how most of the students were staring at them, most were unbelieving.

Why the hell would the female Uchiha, Sasuke's twin, the most popular girl in the academy, ever even want to speak with Uzumaki Naruto aka Dobe aka Loser?

It was slightly disturbing to them, especially one Haruno Sakura, who merely watched Sasuke slowly approach Naruto with an annoyed and pissed off look to his handsome face, yet was actually approaching him!?

"...What?!" Naruto blinked in shock at the innocent question, staring into Kagome's sincere blue eyes. He, of course, knew who this was – and like every other boy in the academy – thought she was cute, but would never, in a million years, ever think she would talk to _him_ of all people! Much less offer her lunch to him!

"Don't you like rice balls?" Kagome quickly asked, seeing as he said nothing, but merely stared at her in shock. She looked down, thinking she did something wrong.

"See, Kagome? He's a loser." Sasuke sneered at the blond boy, grasping Kagome's hand to lead her back to their spot.

"... I like rice balls..." Naruto finally answered in unusual shy voice, looking down to the ground, blushing while kicking his foot. He wasn't sure how to react when Kagome turned around, smiling happily while clapping her hands once.

"You can have mine! See – they're cat-shaped! Mama made them especially for me – but you can have them!" Kagome talked in a rapid voice, Naruto got off the swing, cautiously approaching the Uchiha girl.

Sasuke merely stood off to the side, hands shoved into the pockets of his white shorts, looking put-out.

Haruno Sakura blanched, along with the other students, as she watched Uchiha Kagome – her future sister-in-law – make friends with Uzumaki Naruto aka Dobe aka Loser!

The Uchiha girl obviously needed help in the head!

* * *

Preview of next chapter: _Witness # 3 Kyuubi no Youko_

Well, here's your update since you all gave me such nice reviews!


	3. Witness 3: Kyuubi no Youko

Disclaimer: I own nothing

A/N: Thanks for the reviews again! Since the chapters are so short, I should be able to update every couple of days... but those reviews are my fuel :3

* * *

The great and feared Kyuubi no Youko was sulking.

He growled, the loud noise ripped through the confined prison he was currently being kept in. He really hated his situation right now – but he despised _her _situation even more.

Yes, he was talking about Uchiha Kagome.

His precious little miko just had to be reborn in the clan he despised most – those dreaded Uchihas'. He actually didn't even know that Kagome had been reincarnated again, that is until he was forcibly controlled by that damned Madara, attacking Konoha.

He had been sealed by the Yondaime Hokage, and sealed into his brat of a son – his current human container. Yes, he had made fun of Jinchuuriki simply because he had never thought he, himself, would be considered as one.

Sesshoumaru, Kirara, and Hachi had all been caught some time ago – each in Iwa, Suna, and Kumo.

Well, back to the point – he didn't like being a sealed into a human, but he hated seeing Kagome being touched by those dreaded Uchihas' even more. He couldn't do anything about it! (What he really wanted to was to rip the clan to shreds, especially the two who were considered as her 'brothers.')

He could see everything going on from behind Naruto aka the Brat's eyes.

* * *

"Ne, Tachi-nii-san?" Kagome innocently pulled on her older brother's black shirt, wanting him to bend down closer to her. She wanted to give him a surprise!

"Yes, Kagome?" Itachi asked in usual passive tone, though Kagome was far too used to it to be affected by it. He glanced down at his little sibling, her hand tugged on his a little harder. He raised a fine brow, wondering what the little Uchiha wanted. He did hope that it wasn't one of those inappropriate questions again. He still had to punish Shisui for allowing Kagome to get her hands on that perverted orange book.

Really, what Uchiha needed a book like that? They could attract a _real_, live person easily enough to get some...

"Come here for a sec." Kagome giggled, Itachi raised his brow even further when he noticed that a light pink flush spread across her usually pale cheeks. Was she embarrassed? What for?

Itachi bent down to see what Kagome wanted to show/tell him, but was completely caught off guard when Kagome, very lightly, pressed her lips up against his. And yes, ANBU Uchiha Itachi can still be caught off guard – much to even his own surprise.

A moment later, Kagome pulled back, a big, wide smile was her pretty little face, though the pink flush remained. "See, that was a kiss!" The Uchiha girl giggled some more, grabbing Itachi's hand again as he had dropped hers with the surprising kiss.

Itachi, as expected, didn't show any external change at the unexpected action. He merely rose with a grace that an Uchiha naturally possessed, reaffirming his hold on his younger sister's hand. "Yes, it was." He nodded, looking down at her to ask his next question. "And where did you learn that?" He asked, aware that they had some sort of watcher – perhaps a disturbed voyeur?

Meanwhile, Uzumaki Naruto blinked his neon-blue eyes when a growl abruptly burst forth from deep within his chest, startling both civilians and shinobi alike. He sighed, looking toward the ground when people quickly moved away from him, shooting his dirty looks. What'd he do this time?

The angered growl rumbled through the damp room when Kyuubi watched, through the Brat's eyes, as Kagome actually kissed an Uchiha. Yes, granted she was one herself (something that he couldn't deny), and the kid may be her brother – but it didn't make it right!

That Uchiha kid would be the first to go when he figured out how to break this damned seal!

"I asked Sasu-nii-chan, and he showed me!" Kagome answered with a bright smile, looking at her taller brother. Itachi mentally decided that he would need to punish Sasuke in the near future. Her smile dropped a moment later. "But he also said that we can get married when we're older... but I wanna marry you, Itachi-nii-san!" The little girl looked troubled; she didn't want to upset her twin, Sasuke. Itachi was unsure of how to console the girl.

His answer wasn't the best... answer, but he didn't want to upset his little sibling. She would figure it out when she was older. "Then, you can marry the both of us." He stated with his usual apathetic tone, smiling slightly mentally when the girl immediately brightened up at his answer.

"Really?!" She gasped, looking up at him with wide, blue eyes. "I can?!" Now she wouldn't have to choose between her twin and her older brother anymore! She was very happy and relieved by the new fact.

"Yes." Itachi confirmed the little girl's thinking, grabbing her hand, and leading her toward the Uchiha district. "But, you cannot tell Chichi-ue yet." He added, knowing how Fugaku would probably have a field-day after finding out the details of their, rather inappropriate, conversation.

The girl was supposed to be promised to Shisui after all.

"I promise!" Kagome giggled, her grasp on Itachi's tightened, knowing that Sasuke would be home by now. She couldn't wait to tell Sasu-nii-chan about this!

She also couldn't wait until the next day – where their father had promised to teach both her and Sasuke the Katon jutsu – the technique that identified one in the clan as an adult Uchiha!

Kyuubi no Youko's crimson eyes flashed a deeper red, his fang-filled jaw opened in dark smirk, a deep, rough, and animalistic laugh echoed throughout his prison room.

Oh yes, once he got out of here, the Uchiha kid – Itachi, as Kagome called him – would be the first to be shredded by his claws and fangs. Then, he would be lit of fire with his much stronger Kitsunebi just to make him suffer a bit more.

That Uchiha clan really was disgusting...

And Uzumaki Naruto quickly stopped, wondering why he felt this sudden hatred for Uchiha – or one in particular – Uchiha Itachi.

Uchiha Itachi had better watch out, he just made himself a new enemy.

(Yeah right... -_-;)

* * *

Preview of next chapter: _Witness # 4 Uchiha Shisui_

Well, here's your update! Oh, and any ideas for witnesses is welcome! :)


	4. Witness 4: Uchiha Shisui

Disclaimer: I own nothing

A/N: Ack, where did all my reviewers go?! I've noticed a big drop... I can update every couple of days, but I do need inspiration for it...

* * *

_Witness # 4 Uchiha Shisui_

He was hailed as _Shunshin _no Shisui, Shisui of the Mirage, Flash Master Shisui, etc...

So, it was no surprise when the two little kiddies' didn't sense his presence at all. He didn't even need to go out of his way to hide his presence like he had to do with Itachi around. It would surprise him if he did have to – they were only...

Well, Shisui wasn't exactly sure how old the Uchiha twins were, it didn't matter much though. A shinobi wasn't recognised by age, but by experience and ability.

However, he didn't notice the two twins because of their abilities, but he did notice them because they followed Itachi around like lost puppies – or at least, Kagome did so. Sasuke had stopped doing that, for perhaps a year now.

He took extra notice of Kagome, simply because he would be marrying her some day, he wasn't particularly excited about it, nor was he dreading it.

It just was... that's how things were done in the Uchiha clan, pre-arranged marriages were the norm.

Honestly, he really did hate it... he didn't want to walk the path of the Uchiha anymore...

"Mou, Sasu-nii-chan!" A little voice piped up, catching Shisui's attention. He glanced down lazily from his spot, watching the two twins stand and wait on the dock of Nakano River – obviously waiting for someone. "Tou-san said to meet him here! We can't leave yet!"

Shisui let a smirk spread across his face, feeling a slight amusement fill him. So, Fugaku was actually going to interact with his children – the one that wasn't Itachi?! – for once in his life?!

What a shock...

* * *

"Tch," Sasuke snorted, folding his arms over the fabric of his black shirt, kicking at the dock impatiently. "We've been waiting here for over an hour!" The Uchiha complained, already pissed off. "He's obviously not coming... probably too busy with Itachi." Sasuke growled, his obsidian eyes darkening even further as he thought of his older brother.

"But," Kagome looked away with a growing discomfort, slightly sad that their father chose to spend most of his free time with Itachi. They rarely even got a 'hello' from the man anymore. "Tou-san's busy at work..." She left off, her voice a lot quieter now.

Sasuke snorted again, tensing when he felt a deep presence behind him. He turned around, glaring, though immediately coming to a stop when he noticed that it was their father. "Tou-san..." He grumbled, watching the slightly darkly amused expression to Fugaku's face. He grew wary, wondering if the man had heard their conversation.

"Tou-san!" Kagome greeted him in her usual cheerful voice, gaining a nod from the Uchiha leader. He looked impatient – when didn't he? – and he was still dressed in his Police Military uniform, obviously just gotten of work. She touched his pant leg in affection, smiling a bit when he gruffly ruffled her long, black hair in return.

Shisui fell off his perch in shock – wincing as he felt a pain in his back. Did he just witness what he thought he did?! Did Fugaku-sama actually touch one of his children in affection?! He blinked his obsidian in surprise, seeing Kagome-chan still standing there, and not on the ground.

Fugaku-sama didn't strike the girl?! Was he in an alternate universe?!!?

"The Katon technique is done like this." Fugaku got straight down to the point of this lesson, hoping that it wouldn't be a waste of his time. He had other things he could be doing, but Mikoto had insisted – threatened – that he teach Sasuke and Kagome the basic of their clan.

Mikoto had even used her secret technique against him – his fatal weakness – Kagome's large blue eyes, all done up in her Puppy-pout no Jutsu. It was the most fatal weapon ever created – even he, the supreme leader of the all-powerful Uchiha clan, was not immune to it.

No one could resist it, not even Itachi.

He stood and watched as Sasuke made the first attempt, sighing silently when it was a rather pathetic attempt. He said nothing, not noticing Sasuke's face fall in disappointment as he turned to Kagome expectantly, gesturing that it was her turn.

She smiled brightly – in a very un-Uchiha like way – before attempting like Sasuke had done just moments before. Her attempt was much like Sasuke's, it wasn't much better.

He was disappointed – but he should have expected this. Neither would ever be as good as Itachi.

Fugaku said nothing as he merely turned around, intending on going back to the police station. He stopped dead as Kagome bravely grabbed his pant leg, tugging a bit harshly.

Shisui leaned up from his spot of the ground, his crimson Sharingan unconsciously as to have a better view. He expected for the girl to be harshly reprimanded for her actions – and nearly fainted in shock as Kagome looked up at the Uchiha leader with determination sparking in her pretty and unusual blue eyes.

"Tou-san, we will get this technique. So, come back in a week!" Kagome said cheerfully, both Sasuke and Fugaku widened their obsidian eyes ever so slightly, surprised by the girl's words.

A small – though hardly noticeable – smirk appeared on Fugaku's face. There was no mistake; there were his children, as determined as they were. Perhaps they would go far; farther than he ever thought they would.

"Aa." He agreed, giving Sasuke the shock of his life when Fugaku patted his head for a moment, then he was retreating as if nothing had ever had happened.

"See, Sasu-nii-chan! It's not so hard." Kagome smiled at her twin, referring to their father. She knew that he had a slightly hard time with talking with Fugaku, but all you really had to do was give a pout, and he was nothing.

"Tch," Sasuke snorted again, a light red flush on his pale cheeks. He blinked when Kagome latched herself onto his arm, her blue eyes bright once again.

Shisui twitched at her next question, wondering what the hell was wrong with the girl!? She actually had the courage to touch Fugaku without permission, and now this question?! And to her twin?! (Who merely blinked, having no idea what Kagome was talking about)

"Ne, Sasuke? Do you know what _'fucking' _means?" Kagome asked innocently, "Because I really wanna _'fuck' _Itachi-nii-san, he even promised me too! But when I get older..."

And this was the girl he was to marry?! A girl that oh-so obviously had an infatuation with her very own older brother?!

Uchiha Itachi of all people?!

Perhaps his clan really was insane...

* * *

Preview of next chapter: _Witness # 5 Hatake Kakashi_

Well, there you have it, please leave a reivew, I really need some inspiration right now...


	5. Witness 5: Hatake Kakashi

Disclaimer: I own nothing

A/N: Keep the reviews coming!

_Witness # 5 Hatake Kakashi_

_

* * *

_

Now, Hatake Kakashi was hailed as a prodigy. He wasn't one to disagree either. After all, he was the current best ANBU captain within Konohagakure, and possibly a future candidate for the Hokage.

Of course, someone like him had no real desire to have so much responsibility on his shoulders.

All his desire was to read the next book of the Icha Icha series. But he was being bothered, one again. Every damn time he finally got to it – _someone _just had to interrupt or bother him, either Yamato or Yugao, his two ANBU subordinates.

But now – it was just a little kid – a little, Uchiha, brat-looking kid. He, in no way, reminded of Obito, so he was really, really, really annoyed right now. But he recognised this kid; it was the second heir to the Uchiha clan – though he couldn't remember the kid's name right now.

But Kakashi glared with his visible eye, and grew even more irritated when the kid didn't seem to get it or notice – he tugged rather harshly on his black pants, an arrogant frown etched into his pale face.

Oh, did he mention – he really hated the Uchiha clan?

* * *

"Oi!" Uchiha Sasuke frowned, his grip tight on the silver-haired man's pants, not letting go until he got his answer to his burning question. At the moment, he didn't seem to recognise the man for who he really was...

Kakashi blinked lazily, not even bothering to take his eye off his precious, little book. "...what...?" He muttered finally, realising that he could possibly have the Uchiha clan on his ass if he didn't respond to the kid. Something he certainly didn't want – the Uchiha family already despised his ass for having the Sharingan.

Sasuke frowned even more at the man's tone, not hearing the respect he deserved. But he ignored it for this moment, spotting the rather familiar orange book in the man's grasp. He seen Kagome reading the book a few times before, but didn't know what it contained.

"What's... _fucking_?" Sasuke asked, Kakashi merely choked on air at the rather apathetic look this kid had on his face. "Well, are you gonna tell me?!" He demanded, his obsidian eyes darkening.

Kagome wanted to _fuck _Itachi – not him. Of course, it would be useful if he did know what _fucking _meant in the first place, so asking an adult seemed okay to him. But, he would never ask one of his kin, in case he was looked down upon for _not _knowing what it was.

Asking some random seemed to be the best possible choice for him right now.

'_Stupid Nii-san...' _Sasuke thought bitterly, his grip on the man's pant-leg tightening. Kagome paid most of her attention to Itachi. Itachi _this _and Itachi _that_ – he was sick of hearing it, it should be him who Kagome talked about. He would get his revenge on Itachi, and this was the best way to go at it.

_He _would _fuck _Kagome first! She was _his _twin, after all! It was only natural... but first, he had to know what it was.

Kakashi, for the first time in a very long time, was completely and utterly caught off guard. This kid wanted to know what... _*beep*_ was?!?!

"Are you stupid?!" Sasuke said in an irritated voice, wondering what was the taking the old man so long to answer him. It was a simple question, and he wanted an answer. Now.

"Well— er, it's... this." Kakashi gave up, creating a hole with his fingers. He then proceeded to straighten another finger, pushing it back and forth through the hole.

Everything and everyone was completely silent around them... and Kakashi could feel the disdain burning into him. He sweated fiercely, a large sweat-drop on his face...

"You pedphile!" Some lady screeched in the crowd, everyone seemed to agree with the woman, looking at Kakashi with disgust, even if some of them knew who exactly he was.

"What?!" Sasuke raised his brow, still not fully understanding it. "What the hell does that mean?!" He growled, blinking when Kakashi suddenly patted him on the back, sweat now drenched his dark mask.

!"I'll tell you one day – if you ever become my student! Okay –!?" Kakashi said desperately, well aware of the fiery glares piercing into his back, sometimes a civilian could be a ninja's worst enemy – partly because it was forbidden to attack one.

Sasuke opened his mouth to say something snarky, but blinked when a hand suddenly swiped him on the back of his head. He turned around to tell the person off, but shivered in fear as he met the person's enraged eyes.

"K-kaa-san..." Sasuke muttered, wincing internally when her hand dug deep into his shoulder, fingers curling painfully.

"I'm so very sorry – Kakashi-san." Mikoto bowed lightly – though even Kakashi and the civlians could see that it wasn't low enough for a complete apology. "I do hope that my son did not bother you." The Uchiha matriarch said with a serene look to her beautiful face, though Sasuke knew exactly what it meant, and he shivered.

Oh, crap... he was in big shit...

"But, Kaa-san!" Sasuke opened his mouth stupidly, bravely ignoring his mother's glare. "I want to know what _fucking _means! Kagome wants to _fuck _Itachi, but not me!" He actually seemed to pout like a little child, not noticing his mother's twitching.

'_My children are normal, my children are normal, my children are normal...' _Mikoto repeated the mantra in her head, repressing all memories of the previous conversation. Her children were not incestuous! No – they weren't...

"No trouble." Kakashi laughed it off – quite nervously at that. The matriarch merely nodded, walking away, dragging Sasuke off with her. He sighed, seeing he was in the clear now. The civilians were still glaring at him, but slowly wandered to their own business.

Kakashi always knew the Uchiha clan was insane – but not this insane.

The next little moment only proved it very true.

Uchiha Kagome and Uchiha Itachi walked passed him, the little girl held onto Itachi's hand, giggling up at him. Kakashi could only stare, ignoring Itachi's piercing apathetic stare. The Uchiha female was holding onto a rather familiar orange book...

"Itachi-nii-san! What does _'doggie style' _mean? Can you teach it to me?" She asked with enthusiasm, and Itachi simply kept on walking, as if Kagome's question wasn't weird at all.

"Aa." He agreed lightly, watching Kakashi twitch with a careful eye, his Sharingan unconsciously activating in a silent threat. "When you're older."

_Don't. Say. A. Word. _

Oh yeah, the Uchiha heirs really needed some help...

* * *

Preview of next chapter: _Witness # 6 Hyuuga Neji_


	6. Witness 6: Hyuuga Neji

Disclaimer: I own nothing

A/N: ... rather mature stuff in here, just to warn some of you...

* * *

_Witness # 6 Hyuuga Neji_

The Hyuuga clan. They were one of the most powerful clans within Konoha, only the Uchiha were equal in strength. The two clans had much animosity for one another – and could never get along.

They did have one thing in common though, and that was they both practised incest – however, they did it as distantly as they possibly could. They had to keep their Doujustu strong within the clan.

So, it wasn't much of a surprise when Hyuuga Neji – the current Hyuuga prodigy – found himself engaged to his first cousin, Hinata-sama. He actually felt nothing toward her, other than that disdain he felt towards the entire Main Branch Family.

Marrying your cousin within both the Hyuuga and Uchiha clan was completely normal – and thus, no one ever questioned it.

So, even Hyuuga Neji had to raise his brow as he observed the scene below him, leaning back against the tree even more to keep himself out of view. He was just on the edge of the Uchiha/Hyuuga training boundaries, so he knew that he wouldn't get in trouble if he was caught – but still, it seemed as if he could not tear his pale lavender eyes away from this rather disturbing scene...

* * *

"What are we doing?!" Uchiha Sasuke just had to ask, turning his head ever so slightly to look at his twin, who was currently concentrating on that horrid orange book. He hated it, she only seemed to pay attention to that book over him! He didn't understand – but was relieved that Kagome wanted to (finally) spend time with _him_, and not _Itachi_.

Still, he couldn't help but think that this was a little weird...

"This is called _Doggie Style_! See, it's in the book!" Uchiha Kagome pointed out eagerly to the orange book, pointing towards a rather detailed picture of the position. "I think that it's some kind if powerful jutsu!" The girl said with a wide smile, wanting to help out her twin brother in any way possible. She knew that he desired to learn many more jutsu than he currently knew.

They really only knew the basics of the academy (and mastered them because they were of the all-powerful Uchiha clan, and were currently perfecting the Katon technique), so any other would be a big help to learn.

And judging by the picture in her (Shisui-nii-sama's) orange book, the technique looked really awesome to use.

Meanwhile, Hyuuga Neji looked a little ill, a green tinge painted his normally pale face as he watched the Uchiha twin heirs play their little '_game_.' He may be young (though a whole year older than the Uchiha twin heirs), but even he knew the basics of intercourse.

It was now obvious to him that these two twins were really, really, really, _really _'close,' or they had no idea what the hell they were doing.

Neji really preferred the latter – he certainly didn't want rivals who practised the banned sibling incest (That was very disturbing... even to one like him)

Though the Hyuuga couldn't suppress him smirk as Uchiha Sasuke whined like a little girl.

They might need a lot of help, but he would get a kick out of this (and possibly some black-mail for the future... not that a great shinobi like himself would ever need it)

"But why do I have to be on my knees and hands for this?" Sasuke asked with slight irritation, tilting his head further to glance at Kagome, who was currently giggling at this rather embarrassing position. How could this _Doggie Style _ever be a powerful technique of he was on his _hands and knees_?!

"Because it says so – Sasuke-baka!" Kagome snickered, flipping the page over. "And you're supposed to make a face like this!" Kagome added, scrunching her face up to match the picture in the book – it looked like the person in the bottom of this double-person jutsu was having a really good time.

She only assumed that she would be on the top because she was the lighter one. Also, it was just too bad that Itachi-nii-san was currently on a mission, he could of shown them how to do this correctly because Itachi-nii-san knew _everything_! That, and the picture in the book had a third person, not participating, but watching rather eagerly...

Neji curled his lip with part disgust and part amusement as Sasuke seemed to whine (like a little girl) once again.

"W-why?" Sasuke stuttered slightly, taking a look at the obscene picture as Kagome shoved it into his face so he could observe the exact position. Honestly, this looked a lot like when he and Kagome used to play 'doctor' when they were younger. "Err – do I have to take off my clothes?" The Uchiha asked.

Kagome blinked her large blue eyes, missing that particular detail. "Oh." She said, taking a look towards the picture again, seeing that the participants were, in fact, completely undressed.

Really, what a strange jutsu...

The Uchiha girl shook her head once, it was rather cold at this time of year, and they could skip the undressing this once. She was sure that the jutsu would work just fine with clothes on. Kagome finally draped herself over Sasuke's back, grasping his hips (as depicted in the book).

"Shouldn't I be on top?" Sasuke asked with annoyance, though his stomach squirmed slightly at the feeling. He wasn't sure what to think of it – it was like a warmth that settled just underneath his stomach. He was unsure if he liked it or not.

"I don't think it really matters." Kagome said all-knowingly, blinking her blue eyes, observing the picture once, and then giving a light thrust with her own hips as the picture showed.

Hyuuga Neji felt his own stomach squirm – though in a far different way than what Uchiha Sasuke was feeling. He really did feel like vomitting...

"Sasuke... Kagome, what are you... doing?" A stoic voice interrupted the 'jutsu' like a bolt of lightning, Kagome immediately released Sasuke's hips to swing around, a wide smile to her pale face.

"Itachi-nii-san!" Kagome ran up to hug Itachi around his waist, leaving Sasuke on all fours, a light flush to his normally pale face. The warm feeling seemed to lighten when Kagome left him – and he still didn't know what to think of it, but it did feel kinda _good_...

Itachi closed his obsidian eyes in irritation – having witnessed what had just occurred.

It would seem that he would have to burn that book. And then go punish Shisui.

_Severely_.

Itachi grasped Kagome's hand as she touched her fingers up to his, Sasuke slowly wandering after them, the flush still hadn't disappeared.

Hyuuga Neji tensed, watching Itachi's Sharingan flicker, and then turn to him.

Oh, he read the message loud and clear.

_Speak. And. Die._

Neji's lip curled. Oh yes, the Uchiha clan was truly disgusting.

It was shame that the Uchiha really did descend from the Hyuuga...

* * *

Well, review!


	7. Witness 7: Hyuuga Hinata

Disclaimer: I own nothing

A/N: Again, sorry it's taken so long

* * *

_Witness # 7 Hyuuga Hinata_

Again. The Hyuuga clan, equal in par with the Uchiha clan – they were pretty much eternal rivals, only second to the rivalry between the Uchiha and the Senju. It was pretty obvious to all of Konoha that they hated each other, and tried to beat each other whenever the chance struck.

But still, they both practised incest – as it was very evident. With the Hyuuga heiress, Hinata, being engaged to her cousin, Neji. And with the Uchiha heiress, Kagome, being engaged to her cousin, Shisui.

But Hyuuga Hinata was rather observant – it was a trait that came with being shy and timid. She learned to observe her surroundings as best as she possibly could, and that was especially concerning one Uzumaki Naruto.

She liked him for his never-quitting spirit, he inspired her. So, when he suddenly started to talk (stutter a bit, she vaguely noticed) to Uchiha Kagome, she couldn't help but wonder what had changed.

Kagome was the most popular girl at the academy, even a bit more popular than herself. Of course, that was only a default – as they were both the heiress of the most two powerful clans of Konoha.

Because Naruto had taken an interest in Uchiha Kagome – Hinata had too.

* * *

"Aww! Itachi-nii-san! Why do you have to take that book away?!" Kagome looked at Itachi with her big puppy-dog eyes – trying to convince him otherwise. However, she pouted when it didn't work at all when Itachi simply burned the orange book with a Katon technique.

Hinata watched from a swing curiously and timidly as Itachi came to pick up Kagome and Sasuke from the academy.

"It is a bad influence," Itachi stated in his deep voice, causing all the girls in the academy to squeal and sigh dreamily, except for Hinata, "It is inappropriate for someone your age."

"Why? Kagome and I practised a jutsu from that book," Sasuke grumbled in annoyance, looking at Itachi with irritation, "Though, it didn't produce any results." Sasuke also muttered, leaving out that strange feeling in his stomach and he and Kagome practised that _Doggie-Style Jutsu_.

Itachi closed his eyes, realising that he would have to punish Shisui quickly. It was bad enough that Kagome had been engaged to him – but for him to influence his little siblings this horribly was even worse.

"Itachi-nii-san!" Kagome hugged her older brother's legs, giving him another puppy-dog pout with large blue eyes, "Can you tell me and Sasuke-nii-chan what that doggie-style jutsu does? I bet it's really powerful!" Kagome smiled hopefully up at Itachi, who looked as blank as ever. Sasuke stopped his glaring at Itachi long enough to also give him a curious look, obviously wondering the same thing.

Hinata blanched from her spot on the swing once she realised what exactly they were talking about, her pale face quickly turned a bright red. Though it was somewhat surprising to her that the Uchiha twins hadn't been given '_The_ _Talk' _just yet.

"Once you are older to learn about these things." Itachi simply stated, ignoring the squealing miniature fan-girls of the academy variety – also and easily ignoring Kagome's and Sasuke's pouts.

"Why do you also say that?! It's always '_when you're older_'!!" Sasuke blurted out angrily, fed up with Itachi's attempts to flee their questions. The male Uchiha twin suddenly gave a vicious smirk, looking up at his brother with arrogance, "I bet you'll say that when I ask you what _'fucking_' means, right?!"

Hinata really felt like fainting at that moment, realising that a small crowd of glaring parents were forming around the doors of the academy – all of them were glaring at the Uchiha trio, muttering some not-so-nice things.

Itachi raised a brow, though the blank look still didn't disappear from his pretty face, "Why do you wish to know, Sasuke?" He asked easily, though he still wasn't going to tell Sasuke and Kagome anything of that subject.

"Because," Sasuke's arrogant smirk got even wider, "_I'm _the one who is going to _'fuck' _Kagome, not you!" Sasuke crossed his arms over his chest, completely ignoring the horrified parents over by the academy door as he had a staring contest with Itachi.

Kagome didn't really react, as she really had no idea what the term meant, "Itachi-nii-san said that we could get married, Sasu-nii-chan." The Uchiha female twin nervously stated, trying to get her older brothers to stop fighting by trying to distract Sasuke.

"We're twins," Sasuke blinked at Kagome, looking at her expectantly, "Of course we going to get married!" The young boy stated with confidence, though quickly went back to glaring at Itachi.

Itachi closed his obsidian eyes once more, now regretting that he had ever gotten Kagome's hopes of getting married to either himself or Sasuke when it was really Shisui she was going to marry. However, Itachi would do everything in his power to influence their father to change his decision – and let Kagome marry whoever she wanted instead.

That was highly unlikely, though.

The parents were muttering among themselves, wondering why the Uchihas' were so disturbing – both in and out of battle.

"Let's go." Itachi stated shortly, ignoring Sasuke's glaring. He grabbed Kagome's hand when she shyly offered, guiding the two twins back to the Uchiha district – and ignoring Sasuke's low grumbles as he slowly followed after him.

Hinata felt her cheeks glow in embarrassment, surprised with the whole interaction among the Uchiha siblings. Even she knew that incest among siblings had been banned in Konoha a long while ago, so it was a bit strange to hear Uchiha Sasuke declare that he was the one who would marry Uchiha Kagome.

Hinata's pale lavender eyes snapped over to Naruto to see his reaction to the whole thing, concerned when he seemed a bit distant, _'Does Naruto-kun like Kagome-san?' _Hinata thought fearfully, knowing she would easily lose a competition with the Uchiha heiress. Kagome was much more outgoing than she was, even if they were pretty much in the same situation.

But still, she had to quietly agree with Neji.

It really was strange that the Uchiha did descend from the Hyuuga...

* * *

Here ya go!


End file.
